The Light of Shadoewynne: Book 2 of the Shadoewynne Series Read online

  “Do you like that?”

  His words made the door in my mind where I had imprisoned all those experiences from HIM fly open. I could hear HIS voice asking that same question, setting off a parade of bad memories across my mind. I frantically tried to corral them back where they belonged. After a minute, I slammed the door and locked it firmly. There was a loud thump from the adjoining room. David had moved his hands and was frozen. I closed my eyes, and felt tears roll down my cheeks. Shit.

  I cleared my throat. My voice still ended up sounding weak, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. “I like it when you’re the one doing it.” I grabbed his hand and moved it back around me.

  His voice was husky as he said, “I can’t pretend I didn’t just see that.” I moved so I could roll over and look at his face. Tears shimmered in his beautiful grey eyes.

  My tears were still flowing as I cupped his face in my hands. “David. That all happened a long time ago. I have tried my best to put it behind me, and for the most part I have. Occasionally, like just now, the memories escape to plague me, but I just gather them back up and lock them away again. It doesn’t define me, and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it from happening. I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to any of the other guys.”

  Kait’s angry voice startled me from the door. “Princess, you can’t just hide these things from us.”

  I groaned and wiped at the tears. “It’s not something I want to think about much less talk about. I worked through it on my own and it doesn’t really bother me most of the time. I only thought about it because David asked a question that triggered a memory. I want to move on, and the only way to do that is to make new memories.”

  Kait stared at me. I laid my mind open for him, and for David, showing them how I had dealt with it, as well as how the guys made me feel. How they made me want to put all that behind me so I could experience physical expressions of love as it should be.

  “I know I will struggle with it sometimes, but I don’t want it to affect our relationship. You all can’t be holding yourself back just because I had a lot of bad experiences.” I forced a laugh. “I am depending on you guys to show me what all the fuss is about.” My voice got quiet as I added, “I never cared about it before. You make me care.”

  Kait’s face softened, but his voice was still angry as he said, “Okay. I’ll leave you be, then.” Kait came over and lightly hugged me and kissed my cheek. I could feel Kait trembling. I grabbed his arms as he went to pull away, and stared into his eyes. I could see the hurt and anger there.

  “Kait. I’m fine. The guy that did it is dead. He died in an industrial accident about a year and a half after it started.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Dad told me he did, so, yeah. I’m sure.”

  “Okay.” I could see he was not convinced, so in my mind, I showed him what the guy looked like and gave him a name. The tension drained out of his arms, so I released him. He kissed my cheek again and left the room.

  David’s eyes still shone with tears. I leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips. He groaned while pulling me closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lightly running his tongue over my lips, asking for entry. I opened for him, and we gently explored each other, until I desperately needed to breathe. I pulled away, and looked into David’s eyes, which were now dark with need. I could feel his body’s reaction pressing against me. He kissed my nose, which made me smile.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” David’s voice was still husky, but from the look in his eye, it was for an entirely different reason.

  “Oh, I think I’m better than okay.”

  His arms tightened around me, and he buried his face in my hair. “I don’t know how you do it. How can you just go on like none of that happened?”

  I sighed. “I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it, David. The monster that did those things is gone and he can never bother me again.” I yawned.

  David chuckled. “Come on, roll back over. My sugar needs her sleep.” I rolled away as I thought about David’s reaction. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let this go, but the glow from the tender kiss overrode my fears. His arms tightened around me as he snuggled up against me. Just like the night before, I fell asleep quickly and if I dreamed, I didn’t remember in the morning.

  When I woke up, I stretched, reaching for David as I did, but his side of the bed was empty. It was cold as well, which meant he had been out of bed for a while. I shook my head and gathered my supplies. I don’t know how they can be up and moving so early, even if it’s slowly. I headed for the bathroom and got ready for the day. Once done, I found my guys in the living room, having what looked to be a serious discussion. I bypassed them and went into the kitchen. It was too early to deal with drama.

  Arms wrapped around me from behind, and Travis's foresty scent surrounded me. I leaned back against him, enjoying the feel of him against me. He kissed my neck, and that same thrill went through me. “Morning, Beautiful. How did you sleep?”

  “Wonderful. How about you?” I spun in his arms so I could look into his gorgeous eyes, which were crinkled with amusement at me.

  “I’m hurt. You were supposed to say, ‘not as good as when you are there’.” He pouted at me. The amusement in his eyes told me after a heartbeat that he was joking.

  I pushed at him. “Don’t do that! I thought you were serious for a minute.”

  He laughed, kissed the top of my head and released me. “Oh, it’s not a complete joke, Babe. But I’m not going to give you a hard time. Do you want me to make you breakfast?”

  “No, I was just going to have cereal. You guys don’t have to cook every morning for me. Plus, I don’t have a lot of time before I need to leave for class.”

  He nodded as he got out a bowl, cereal and milk for me. While it was sweet how they were taking care of me, it was starting to grate on my nerves as well. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I sighed but didn’t say anything. There was no point in hurting his feelings.

  I quickly ate, then waved goodbye to Travis and David. Kait, of course, followed me out to the car, and got in the driver’s seat. At least today he allowed me to carry my own stuff. It occurred to me that I was not being fair so I attempted to re-direct my thoughts to my upcoming classes. We drove in silence for a little bit, until Kait cleared his throat.

  “I just have one question, Princess, then I will drop the subject if you want.”

  Fuck, I knew what he wanted to talk about. “Yes?” My tone was guarded.

  “Did you ever see a therapist for what happened?”

  I scoffed. “Come on, Kait. Do you think my parents would have paid for a therapist for me? No, I didn’t see one. No, I’m not interested in seeing one now. I’ve dealt with it and moved on. Please do not bring it up again.” My voice started out firm, but broke at the end, but Kait didn’t mention it. He just nodded.

  “Okay. What classes do we have today?”

  I sighed in relief. “English, then we can come home.”

  “This afternoon we need to train. I want you to work on your electric powers.”

  Shit. “Do I have to?” I whined at him, but he just grinned at me.

  “Yes, you do. It may be magic, but you aren’t going to learn it by magic, or osmosis, or any other way than by working hard at it.”

  I couldn’t help it. I stuck my tongue out at him.

  He glanced at me, his eyes darkening. “You better be careful. I have better uses for that tongue than just sticking it out at me.”

  His look and words caused a tingling that shot right through me. Warmth pooled in my stomach. He chuckled. Bastard knew how I reacted to his words. I could feel my face turning red as I looked away. I had no response to that.

  He reached over the console and rubbed my knee, which just caused more tingles. I took a deep breath, attempting, with no success, to control my hormones. I don’t know how I was going to survive this. I needed to get away from them for a
while. Kait let go of my knee and sighed.

  “Do you not enjoy us flirting with you?” His voice sounded funny, so I risked a glance at his face. I couldn’t read his expression, though.

  “It’s not that. You know I enjoy it. I just don’t exactly know what to do with it. Guys don’t usually flirt with me, so I don’t have a lot of experience with it. Plus, I’ve told you all, I just want to be friends, with no romantic involvement.” My mind went to the kiss I had shared with David last night, and it occurred to me that I had left just being friends far behind me. Shit.

  Kait laughed. “Yeah, Princess, that ship has sailed. You are stuck with us. Eventually you will realize this with your head as well as your heart, and you will stop pushing us away. It would be easier on all of us if you accepted it sooner rather than later.”

  I playfully glared at him. “I can avoid the obvious for as long as I want, mister. My head is firmly stuck in the sand, and I’m not coming out for anyone.”

  He whipped the car into a parking spot, and met me on my side of the car, before I got out completely. As I closed the door, he invaded my space, until I was pressed up against the car from the back, and his front was just rubbing my front. He leaned in to whisper in my ear.

  “I can make you come…out for us.” The pause in his words made me think of what he could do, and I think the bastard may have even been pushing his thoughts at me. I could see us, my head thrown back in ecstasy, his head buried between my legs.

  I gasped, heat pooling where his head had been in the vision. “Kait…” I didn’t like how breathy my voice sounded, and I didn’t know if it was a plea or a reprimand. He chuckled as he moved away and held out his hand.

  “Come on, you’re gonna be late for class.” From the sound of his voice, the bastard was proud of himself. I gave him the side-eye, as he continued to chuckle the entire way to class.

  Class was boring, but easy. My mind kept wandering and every time it did, Kait snickered. It was his fault. He needed to stay out of my head. I built the mental wall, and blocked him out, but that just made him snort.

  After class, we went back to the safe house. Travis was already back as well. Kait said that Travis needed to learn how to block electric powers, so he came to the outside training arena with us.

  We bundled up, although it was a fairly nice day. There was a definite hint of spring in the air, not that anything was growing yet. Kait set up a dummy and had me attempt to shock it. I managed it a few times. Then, he had Travis build a wall of air to deflect my powers as I threw bolts at it. I hit it a few times, and once the bolt made it through Travis's wall, but it harmlessly whizzed by him as he side-stepped it.

  I was nearing exhaustion as the sun started to set, which was when Kait finally called a stop. My legs gave out from under me, but before I could hit the ground, Travis swept me up into his arms. I had the brief thought that he must be healed as he carried me back to the safe house, where Sarah had prepared dinner for us. My head was nestled in his neck, and I may have been planting light kisses on it. I just couldn’t help it. He smelled so good, and Kait had been messing with me all day. Travis set me on the chair at the dining table and adjusted his pants as he walked away. I watched him, marveling again that these wonderful men wanted me in their life.

  Kait sat down next to me and ran his finger down my cheek. “Sweetie, you are important to us and we will make you understand that eventually.”

  I snorted and looked away. The tenderness in his eyes, in all their eyes, was bringing tears to mine. I just didn’t see what they saw in me. I noticed that my thoughts were tending toward self-depreciation again, so I deliberately redirected my thoughts..

  I looked at David. “How was your day, David?”

  He was red, but it didn’t look like he was angry this time. It almost looked like he was holding back a laugh. “My day was fine, but it seems like your day was more interesting. Did you and Kait talk about anything interesting?” Yep, he was definitely stifling laughter.

  I glared at Kait. “Did you share everything?”

  “Well, yes. David and I can read your mind. It’s not fair to Travis if he doesn’t know what turns you on.”

  My face went up in flames, and I stared at the table, sure I was going to combust right there. It was bad enough that Kait teased me all day long, but he shared it with them, too? I couldn’t handle that. I got up from the table and stormed off into my room. I threw myself onto the bed and screamed into the pillow.

  A few minutes later, there was a hesitant knock on the door. I debated if I wanted to answer, but a minute later, Kait took the option from me by opening the door. He set a tray of food on the desk and sat down next to me. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, without moving my face from the pillow.

  He scrubbed his face with his hand. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I will stop teasing you, if you want. Just know, it’s not teasing to me. I wasn’t doing it to bother you.”

  “Why, then?” I was speaking into the pillow.

  “Those were promises, Princess.” His voice was husky, so I risked a glance at his face. His heated gaze met mine, and sparks shot through me. He smirked. “Eat your dinner. I’m going to go get ready for bed. It’s my turn tonight. I’ll be back in a bit.” He left the room.

  I laid there for a minute, thinking - I couldn’t make up my mind if I was looking forward to sleeping in the same bed with Kait tonight. I sighed, and got up to eat my dinner, but I didn’t taste it.

  Chapter 4

  I grabbed my pajamas and headed for the bathroom to get ready for the night. I took my time, taking out my contacts, brushing my hair a hundred times, then braiding it. I finally ran out of things to do, so I sighed and went back to my room. I hesitated outside of the door, which was shut. Kait had to be in there. Reminding myself that he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want (but what did I want?) I took a deep breath and opened the door. Kait was laying in the bed, the sheets around his waist, shirtless, reading a book. My mouth went dry as my gaze traveled up his well-defined chest. He had a small spattering of hair, growing thicker in a happy trail under his belly button. He seemed absorbed in his book, but one corner of his mouth ticked up in a small smile as I looked at him.

  I forced my gaze to the floor and went to my side of the bed. I laid down and rolled away from him, wrapping my arms around my body as I squeezed my eyes shut. A few minutes later, the light clicked off and Kait settled into his side of the bed. A small part of me was hurt that he didn’t roll over to hold me and another part of me was glad. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he had held me. He sighed.

  “You know, Princess, being able to read minds is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Kait’s voice was weary.

  I scoffed. “You seemed to be enjoying it this morning.”

  “Yes, I enjoyed your reaction to what I was projecting. I did not realize I was making you uncomfortable.”

  I rolled over and stared at him, disbelief written all over my face. “You, the great mind-reader, didn’t realize you were making me uncomfortable?”

  “Evalia, I am not perfect. I was so focused on how much I was enjoying your reaction that I didn’t even look beyond your initial, physical reaction to the thoughts I was projecting to you.”

  I sighed, then deliberately tore down the rest of my mental walls, baring my soul to him. I showed him all my confusion and every bit of what I had felt all day. It was the only way I could think of to explain what was going through my head all day, since I was so confused emotionally and mentally. After a minute, he groaned and pulled me into his arms, crushing me against his bare chest.

  “I’m sorry, Princess. I wasn’t intending to torture you like that.” I looked up at him.

  “It’s fine, Kait. But, please, can we have a little more time before you push like that again?”

  He nodded against my hair and kissed the top of my head. I nestled into to him, as he rubbed my back. I was asleep quickly.

  When my alarm went off in the morni
ng, it was quickly silenced. Somehow, Kait was in the middle of the bed, and I was completely on top of him. He had managed to turn off the alarm without moving. I scrambled off, while being careful not to hurt him. My face felt like it was on fire as I gathered my clothes for the day and rushed out the door. As I shut the door, I heard Kait snicker behind me.

  I had an early class, so I had to hurry. I put in my contacts, got dressed, then headed for the kitchen to grab something quick on the way out the door. Kait already had peanut butter toast and coffee in a travel cup made for me when I walked into the kitchen. I stared at him for a minute then kissed him on the cheek. It’s funny what that little bit of scruff on his face did to me. I averted my eyes as his gaze heated.

  He grabbed my bag, and we walked to the car, which he already had pre-heating as well. I wasn’t in the bathroom that long, I didn’t understand how he had time to make the toast, coffee, and pre-heat the car. He just smiled.

  The two classes I had went by quickly. When we got back home, Kait had me practice my powers some more, then I had coursework I had to complete. When Sarah came in with an armful of groceries, I jumped at the chance to get away from it all.

  “Sarah! Do you need help with dinner?”

  She looked at me and smiled. “I could always use more hands.”

  “What are we making tonight?” I was looking forward to some girl time. I had been surrounded by so much testosterone all week, it’s amazing I haven’t turned into a guy. Kait snorted behind me, and I glared playfully at him. He held up his hands, and went to his room, muttering about getting some work done.

  Sarah watched us with a funny look on her face. She was human, so the situation with the guys was probably weird to her, too. She shook her head, and said, “Chili, we are going to make chili. I love it when it’s cold outside.”