The Light of Shadoewynne: Book 2 of the Shadoewynne Series Page 2

  “I’m not going to talk about it, Kait.”

  “Fine, you can listen, then. Yes, we have been discussing the situation without you. No, we haven’t been talking about taking turns.” Fuck, my wall wasn’t as strong as I thought. He continued, “We have to make sure we are on the same page. David is having a hard time with it, as you probably can tell. None of us are going to force you into a relationship you don’t want, and we all want to take things slow. The feelings will grow naturally as we get to know each other. Stop worrying about it.”

  I sighed. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like my feelings are not mine anymore, like fate just stepped in and took over. Even if we get to know each other better, how do I know my feelings are real, and not put there by the magic?” I turned my back to him and threw a few more books in my bag. “How do I know what you feel is real, and not just forced on you by the bond?” I rubbed my eyes. “We need to go if I am going to make it to class on time. I am done talking about this. Please?” I hated that I was pleading with him.

  He came over and put his arms around me from behind, and I felt a light kiss on the top of my head. “Okay. I will drop it for now, but this discussion is not finished.”

  When I found myself leaning back against him, I jerked away. I wasn’t going to give in that easily. Sniffing, I started to pick up my bag, but Kait took it from me and left the room.

  I followed him out to the car and silently got in. He threw the bag in the backseat before settling into the driver’s seat. The drive to campus was silent until I turned the radio on. I leaned my forehead on the window as I stared out at the passing scenery. After a few minutes, Kait reached over and started rubbing my knee. I sighed but left his hand there. The cool glass helped me focus as I examined my feelings. What exactly about the situation with the guys bothered me?

  I still hadn’t found the answer when we arrived. I climbed out of the car, while Kait grabbed my bag and walked around the car. He put his hand on my arm like a gentleman, and we walked to class like that. In the classroom, several girls took note of Kait, running appreciative glances over him. A flash of jealousy hit me hard, surprising me with its intensity. I was shaking as I sat down. My magic had surged and I just barely stopped myself from attacking the girls. This may be a problem.

  The class dragged on and on, but at least this time I was able to pay attention, not that it helped. I had missed enough classes that I had no idea what was going on. We went to lunch, where I morosely ate my pizza. Travis met us and was doing his best to cheer me up. He threw a fry at me, and it hit me in the face.

  “Oh, come on, Travis.” I wasn’t in the mood to play like this.

  He pouted at me, and batted his eyes, until I had to laugh. He shot a grin at Kait, who just shook his head. “That’s better, Babe. What’s got you so down?”

  “Just class. I am so far behind, I don’t know how I’m ever going to get caught up.” I scrubbed at my face. “Especially the math classes. Calculus and Stats didn’t make sense to me before, and now that I’ve missed so many classes, I feel like I have no hope of ever understanding it.”

  Travis rubbed my arm. “If you want I can help you. I’m good at math and I have already taken both those classes.”

  I brightened a little. “I would greatly appreciate any help you can give me. Just be patient, please.”

  “Of course, Babe. Well, I’ve got a class to get to. I’ll see you both tonight.” He blew a kiss at me and left, taking his trash with him. I noticed a few girls giving me the stink eye, and I sighed. Kait got up and took our trash to the garbage. I jumped when Kait tapped me on the shoulder. I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even notice he was back. He had my bag slung over his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, earning more glares, and we headed off to my next class. This one went better, since it was English. There was less to miss, and I had no problem understanding it. By the time we left, I was feeling a little better, but I was still worried.

  The drive home was as silent as the ride in. Finally, Kait sighed. “We need to talk about Alarr.”

  Really? I’ve been silent most of the day, and this is the subject he chooses? “Why? Why do we need to talk about him? We aren’t meeting until next week, right? You decided that we will, why do I need to know anything about it?” Internally, I winced. I didn’t mean to be such a bitch, but he needed to understand that I wasn’t happy with the way they had been discussing things without including me.

  “You don’t have to meet with him. I can go without you.”

  “Fuck, no. Then you will just make more decisions without me.” I crossed my arms and looked out the window.

  “Evalia. Stop.” I sighed. That wasn’t fair; he used his bossy voice. “You need to understand what happened back then as well as what kind of person Alarr is.” He glanced at me quickly, then back to the road. “I told you I never really liked him, but it isn’t because he was an evil person. He was a prince and was self-centered. He wasn’t a good match in personality for Nissa. She was kind, generous, and altruistic. She deserved better than him.”

  A flash of jealousy made me clench my teeth. Something in his voice sounded like he had been in love with her. I glanced at him, and he was studiously watching the road. I checked my mental block, shit, I forgot to put it up. He probably heard that thought, but he wasn’t denying it. I watched the muscle in his jaw jump as he ground his teeth together.

  “I did love her, but not like you are thinking. I helped raise her; she was like a daughter to me.”

  I wasn’t sure I was convinced, but I nodded anyway. It wasn’t worth fighting over. “Okay.”

  He reached over and rubbed my knee. “Anyway, Alarr never seemed like a bad guy, he was just not right for Nissa. He also claimed he didn’t cause the accident. He said it was one of his research assistants. I asked him what he was researching, but he didn’t want to go into it yet. He said he only wanted to tell the story once, which makes sense. I agreed to meet with him again but did not promise that you would be there. He says he just wants to talk. I searched his mind as much as I could and I found no indication he was lying. However, since he knows about my powers, it’s possible he was hiding something.”

  I knew that Kait would never agree to something if he thought it was dangerous for me. “Fine.” I huffed the word, looking back out the window as I did. Kait squeezed my knee.

  “Princess…”

  “I’m done with this subject, can we talk about something else? Please? Something that isn’t my fucked-up life, or anything to do with magic?”

  “Okay. The guys were talking about doing a little getaway over spring break. Would you be interested in joining?”

  Spring break was over a month away. “Sure…” I was hesitant because I wasn’t sure where everything would stand in a week, much less a month. “Where were they talking about going?”

  He laughed. “They wanted to leave that up to you.” My heart warmed.

  “What’s our budget? I don’t have a job or any money.” I trailed off as it reminded me that I had no idea how to support myself now.

  “Hey, none of that. Travis said he would take care of it. He said to consider it a late Christmas present.” We pulled into the safe house driveway. I got out of the car and managed to snag my bag before Kait could.

  I called over my shoulder on the way in, “I’ll think about it. I am going to my room to study. Let me know if I need to help make dinner.”

  Kait didn’t answer. I threw my bag on the bed and arranged my pillows to support me as I leaned against the wall, then dug out my Calculus book. When Travis knocked on the doorframe, I was ready to throw the book and cry.

  “Hey, you still want some help?” Travis looked unsure, probably because I had unintentionally glared at him when he startled me.

  “Yes, please. These imaginary number things just don’t make sense to me, and I am frustrated.” I leaned back and rubbed my eyes.

  He came the rest of the way into the room and put his stuff on the
floor next to me. I scooted over so he had room on the bed. “Okay, what are you working on?” I moved the laptop so he could see the question on the screen.

  He glanced around. “Alright. Where’s your work?” I pulled the notebook over and explained the steps I had worked through. Once I was done, he patiently explained where I had gone wrong and he walked through each step with me. Then he helped me work through the rest of the questions.

  I had a hard time concentrating as his knee rubbed mine and his scent wrapped me up. I tried to fight the feeling of contentment, but it was a losing battle. By the time we finished, I was leaning against his shoulder with his arm around me. Despite everything, I was happy. Travis had me laughing as he helped me. He was so sweet.

  “So, do you feel better about Calculus now?” He was grinning at me as he asked.

  “Yes. Now, if I could just understand the theories behind Stats, I would be good. I can do the homework, since it’s all in Excel, but the professor expects us to understand what is going on behind the scenes too.” I rubbed my eyes again.

  He pulled me closer. “Come here, Babe. You need to relax. You wanna do a movie night tonight?” Oh, that sounded good.

  “Sure. What do you want to watch?” I couldn’t really see his face the way we were sitting, but I felt the laugh rumble through his chest.

  “Whatever you want. There’s a man-cave here too, with a big TV screen, and a huge selection of movies. After dinner, you can pick out a movie.”

  At the word dinner, my stomach growled loudly. “I am hungry. What’s for dinner anyway?” I asked as I pushed away from him.

  “Janelle is cooking, so I don’t know.” I glanced at him, to find his eyes on my lips. My face felt like it was on fire as I quickly looked away. He put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. His eyes were brilliant blue and locked on mine. I bit my bottom lip. He chuckled again, and ran his thumb over my lip, freeing it from my teeth. “I’m not going to push it, Evalia. Just know that I really want to kiss you right now. I understand you want to take things slow, and I will respect that.” He leaned forward, using his finger that was still under my chin to angle my face away as he placed a small kiss on my cheek. “I will settle for this right now.”

  My heart skipped a beat. I was torn, I really wanted him to kiss me, but I didn’t want to rush things at the same time. Briefly, I wondered what his lips tasted like. My eyes bounced between his eyes and his lips. I was starting to lean towards him, intent on his lips, when a throat cleared behind him. I jumped back, sure my face was bright red.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready. We won’t wait for you two.” Janelle laughed as she closed the door behind her.

  I sagged. The way we were sitting, I couldn’t even get up without climbing over Travis's lap, which was probably a bad idea at the moment. He laughed and got up. He held his hand out to help me up. I accepted and he pulled me up against him and held me close for a minute. I leaned my head against his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around me. We stood like that for a moment, until I pushed off him.

  I ran my fingers across his cheek, liking the feel of the scruffy five o’clock shadow he was sporting. “We better get out there, or Janelle is going to think something more is going on in here.” I reluctantly moved away from him.

  He chuckled as he said, “Why does what Janelle think matter? But, my baby needs to eat. Come on, let’s go.” He took my hand and pulled me after him into the dining room.

  David was already at the table, with a dark look on his face. He glared at Travis for a minute before moving his glare to me. It shook me. I knew he wasn’t happy about sharing me, but I didn’t know it was that bad. Unfortunately, when I checked my mental block, it was down, so he had heard everything that had happened. It felt like I was rubbing his face in it.

  “Sorry, David.” I sat down next to him.

  He sighed. “It’s fine. I’ll get over it.” I rubbed his arm as I looked around.

  “Janelle, do you need help bringing out dinner?” I called into the kitchen.

  “Nope, Kait and I have it. We’ll be out in just a second.”

  True to her word, less than a minute later, they came through the door, each with a couple of trays. There was fried chicken, rolls, green beans, and some weird-looking breaded thing. I glanced at it and raised an eyebrow. Kait chuckled. “It’s fried okra, Princess.” I just shrugged. I had never heard of it.

  I took a plate and piled some food on it, being slightly less generous than usual. Even though I was hungry, I wasn’t as famished as I had been recently. While we ate, we talked about everyone’s day. David complained about one of his professors giving him a hard time about missing class, and Travis gave him shit over it. I sat quietly, wondering just what the hell I was going to do. David eventually elbowed me to get my attention. “Travis said we are doing a movie night. What are we going to watch?”

  I had a mouthful of okra, so I just shrugged. Once I swallowed, I said, “I don’t know what movies y’all have here. I was going to look at the selection once we are done with dinner.”

  He just nodded and didn’t say anything more. He was moving his food around sulkily while staring at the plate. I watched him, sad that I had caused this mood. He glanced up at me and smiled before patting my hand. “It’s not your fault, Sugar. I had a hard day. I swear, I will be okay. I just need to get some things sorted in my mind.”

  His words caused a swirl of fear to go through me. Did that mean he was thinking about leaving? I wouldn’t blame him. Like I had told Kait, it’s a lot to ask for him to be one of three guys always competing for my attention. He put his hand on my cheek and turned my face towards him. His eyes were locked on mine as he said, “Sugar, I will never leave you. That is not what I meant. I will always be here for you. Okay?”

  I swallowed hard as I nodded. As they always seemed to do when he was using magic, the grey in his eyes seemed to swirl. I found myself leaning toward him. When I noticed, I jumped back, settled into my seat and cleared my throat. “So, uh, if everyone is done, I will help Janelle clear the table and do the dishes before we have a movie night.”

  She chuckled. “I could use help with clearing the table, but you don’t need to help do dishes. The boys will be waiting for you to pick out the movie.”

  We got up and quickly had the table cleared and cleaned. She pointed the way to the man-cave, while still chuckling at me. I think she was enjoying watching me flounder with the relationship between the guys. What was I going to do?

  Chapter 3

  I made a conscious decision not to worry about it right now. I would need to face it sooner rather than later, but we deserved a break for a little bit. I walked down the hall to where Janelle had said the media room was. When I opened the door, Kait, Travis and David all had their heads together and were whispering. They all looked at me, guilty expressions on their faces, except for Kait, who just looked smug. Great. They were probably deciding how to gang up on me. I huffed and walked past them to the big wall of movies. Looking over the selection, I randomly picked a comedy that I had seen once.

  I handed it to Travis, who got up and put it in the Blu-ray player. After I settled into my seat, David came over and put his head on my right shoulder. Kait sat next to me on the left, and Travis sat down in front of me on the floor and leaned against my leg. We watched the movie almost in silence, only breaking it with our laughter. By the end of it, I was feeling a little better.

  We headed out, and I grabbed my pajamas and headed to the bathroom. I changed, took out my contacts, then headed back to the room. When I opened the door, David was sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

  “It’s my turn tonight. Do you want me in the bed or on the floor?”

  “Bed is fine. I can’t make you guys sleep on the floor.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right back, I’m just going to go change.”

  I got into bed and took out my book. David was back in less than five minutes. He climbed into bed next to me and took
out a book as well. We laid there in silence, both reading for a while. Eventually, I sighed and put my book on the side table. David looked at me.

  “David, can I ask you something?”

  His eyes widened a bit as he said, “I guess?”

  I stifled a laugh, although my question was serious. He just looked so scared, it was amusing. “Why have you been glaring at Travis recently? I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but it feels like it has to do with me, so I needed to ask.”

  He stiffened, then slowly reached for me. When I didn’t pull away, he gently cupped my face. “I am having problems wrapping my head around us all bonding with you. I do my best to not get mad, but it feels a little unfair. We have known each other for 6 months, and you have continually shut me down. They come into your life, and suddenly you are almost kissing them.”

  I sighed. “David, I understand. There’s this pull, to touch you and them, to spend time with you all. It’s almost irresistible. I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I bonded to everyone on purpose…”

  "Sugar, I’m not blaming you at all.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I scooted a little closer to him and ran my hand over his cheek. “It’s something that is totally on me, and I have to work through it on my own.”

  I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his cheek. “I thought that was the problem. What can I do to make it easier on you?”

  “I don’t know, Sugar. I know you feel the same for all of us, I can feel it in your mind. I just wanted to be special to you.”

  My heart was breaking. “You are special to me.”

  He kissed my forehead. “I know, Sugar. Roll over, let’s go to sleep.”

  I didn’t want to leave it like this, but I could tell from the look on his face that he wasn’t going to talk anymore tonight. I sighed and rolled away from him, then scooted back until my back was pressed to his front. He didn’t move at first. I started to move away from him, but he wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me back up against him. He rested his head against me, and I felt his lips softly press a kiss against my neck. I froze as a thrill ran through me. He chuckled and did it again, while laying his arm over my side. His fingers found my nipple and lightly rubbed it through the fabric of my shirt. I gasped as my nipple hardened and he pinched it softly, lightly biting my neck at the same time.